The GOP’s Hairball Problem

Have you ever heard a cat trying to work up a hairball? It sounds a little something like this: hhhchsskkchksss! Hhssshhhkchkcough! A listening device placed inconspicuously in Rience! Priebus’s office might pick up such sounds these days.

Well, a very rare and special thing has happened this year. Despite Rience! Priebus’s best efforts, the poor saps who tire away in the conservatism mines have chiseled out the most pure flawless gemstone in all of conservatism: megalomaniacal greed.

This hairball’s fly by the seat its furball campaign style is increasingly looking as though it might win it the nomination. And why shouldn’t it? It is the essence of conservatism. They have found their soul. Embodied in one sexist, racist super-wealthy creature. Rience! Priebus has been trying, however in vain, to garner some of the Hispanic vote. And repair the hilariously damaged pull with women, and it’s managed to destroy all of that in three months. Should we have a general election match up with The Hairball and likely Hillary it’s going to be a comedian’s wet dream.

 

 

 

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