I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then!
Last year today I was living on my own, had an apartment, spending time with my son. It was a quiet night in. Who would have seen all the changes that were to come for me in the previous 12 months.
It was a pretty quiet year until June, that’s when I started making changes in my life. I had a sudden change in careers and started to look into myself a bit more. While I had been pretty behind the scenes for the previous two years, I decided to finally throw myself into my lifestyle in full force.
I explored many aspects of the leather community for a few years, but had a calling to the puppy lifestyle. It came rather easy to me. I found a mentor and explored pupdom in a very strong fashion. Sometimes too strong I can now admit. I discovered things about myself, freedoms I never knew I could feel.
I found amazing new friends in my area as well as all over the country and world. I fell in love! Love was lost…but I persevered and continued to go on with my life.
I’ve traveled alone for the first time in my entire life, going to Chicago and truly discovering the gay scene, in very pleasant ways. I made more friends and continued to grow.
I hit my limits and walls and knew that I needed more structure in my life and found people that could help give that to me. There was a point I was ready to die again this year, yet I reached out to my friends, my family, my community and found a way to put a plan I had placed before to not allow that to happen.
As the year closes I realize now that family is not necessarily those you are related to, the best family I have are the loved ones and friends that I have in my life that haveshown me that I can be me and still be loved!
I end the year with a few members of my family tonight cheering in the new year in the way we know how, together and filled with love for each other.
As tomorrow eases it’s way into our lives there are things that I want to improve in myself:
- My self confidence to quitting my self depricating and self destruction behavior.
- I want to continue to grow within my community and show that we can have a unity that many haven’t seen in a while.
- I want to continue sharing my experiences in a positive way to show that everyone is welcome to do anything that they want and not have to worry about what others think.
- I want to share time with my friends and family and grow with them
2016 is going to be a spectacular year filled with many new experiences and tons of fun times. I’m sure there will be tears, here’s to hoping they are the happiest of tears for once!
Much love from this crazy little pup!
BAYARD MATTY!! WOOF!!