Born out of wedlock, according to society and in Christian terms, Jon came into this world at a great disadvantage and always will go through life cursed with the sins of his father. The beginning of Jon’s life, the people around him thought he was special. Some would think he would grow up to be a preacher because of how Jon would look and stare at a painting of Jesus his grandmother had hanging on her wall. Jon was told by his grandmother that stared as if he recognized the man in the painting from somewhere, and as a baby, he wouldn’t know that depiction to be that of Jesus. I want you to go on a brief journey of Jon’s life and see if you think his life up to a point is a blessing or a curse.

“Jonathan, come up here right now.”  Those words came from up stairs one Saturday morning from his stepfather. Jon gets up from watching cartoons to see what his stepfather wanted.  He goes upstairs and standing outside the bathroom and upon reaching the top of the stairs, his stepfather says “step inside and tell me what you see.”  His stepfather steps away and Jon enters the bathroom and flinches because it was usually then that he would get slapped or punched in the back of the head. He enters without incident and looks around and doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Then, after a few seconds a drip of water came from the faucet from his sink. He turned it off in hopes that this was what the issue was. Jon turns off the light and leaves the bathroom, and as he passes his stepfather to back downstairs, he feels that familiar hard hit to the back of the head. Jon had a very strained relationship with his stepfather. He was very afraid of him. There was one time when he was in 3rd grade and went to school with a black eye. His mother became his refuge and he became very close to her, it was unhealthy because he would share things that he was supposed to share with a male. School wasn’t much better for Jon as he was known to be a nerd and bullying came with the territory. In grade school, up until 7th grade, he had big round glasses and he looked more like an owl and was clumsy and all of his friends were girls mostly.

His sexuality began to come to the surface at an early age. Jonathan never looked at girls in anything other than in friendship. What boys he were friends with, some he had crushes on beginning in the 4th grade. Being gay was something that his parents would not support and it was something he would hide mostly from his parents. He would drop hints, especially in high school, but would never come out and say anything. By the time Jon was a senior in High School, he was excited about leaving home and being away from an environment where he would have to be on survival mode. Jon had completely retreated to his bedroom and surrounded himself in a fantasy land to keep himself as sane as possible.

Things were not always bad when it came to his stepfather. They would enjoy playing the Nintendo Entertainment System and the Super Mario Brother games 1, 2 and 3. During the holidays, they enjoyed going outside and shooting off fireworks and they had vacations as well and had fun.

In Jonathan’s adult life, he’s had a hard time finding acceptance and love. He’s had his share of relationships and none of them gave him feeling wanted and appreciated. They would either not express they love him, cheated on him, treated him badly or like he’s at the low end of priorities.  Romance has been rare for him. Jonathan began out as a guy who had an romance novel and television show idea on how relationships are. He was a full-on romantic and did things to make his partners feel loved. Now, if you look at Jonathan, now in his late 30’s, he’s not as romantic and is mostly emotionally dead.  He’s been disrespected by people who don’t even look at him when speaking to him, and he’s been viewed as a disease who must be eradicated.

Jonathan sees a bright future and fights tooth and nail to try to get to his goal in life. He has tried a few times before to get his life on a level where he is happy, but every time, there are things that are out of his control that set him back, and sometimes years. Through it all, he tries to remain positive and is still chipping away at his goal to have a career that he can be proud of.

The reason why I wanted to share this short story with you is for you to see how your life would be altered having to deal with what Jonathan has been handed. 

Is he cursed or blessed?