Thou Must Now

thou-must-now-headstone

Send this message to 10 people and a miracle will happen. Do not send this within the next 10 minutes and the worst thing imaginable will happen to you.

Seriously? Why do people send this crap? Do they really believe Jesus will not love them if they don’t forward a message to 10 people in 10 minutes? Will fate intervene and knock you to your butt if you don’t act swiftly and curse your Facebook friends with this dire message? I honestly do not know how to respond to these types of messages.

A teeny, tiny part of me wants to see what will happen if I obey the strict commands. Will I be blessed beyond belief and live a life I’ve always dreamt about? Will riches abound my life and will I wake up singing with glee every morning? Even better, will my children instantly decide that I am the best thing that has ever happened to them since the invention of YouTube?  Will they stop peeing around the toilet and quit using me as human Kleenex? I could be pee and booger free! 

But a larger part, and more realistic side of me, wants to shake the living daylights out of the sender of these exasperating messages. Do they really believe this insanity? What do they think will happen if they do not send out the commanded messages and worse yet, what do they think will happen to me?  Truth be told, I don’t think they have my best interest at heart; they are scared of what will happen to them if they do not obey the message’s commands.

On the other hand, perhaps some believe they are sending goodwill my way. But I worry; I worry they are scared fate might just step in and take a nasty turn if they don’t obey the ridiculously, laughable rules. I worry about these friends that feel bound to these “Thou Must Now” messages. I worry that they lay in bed at night waiting for miracles to happen or they wrestle with insomnia that something drastically horrible is about to take place because I did not forward on their plea for goodwill. In my defense, I believe Jesus sees what is in my heart and He does not keep count of my Facebook messages or how quickly I sent them out. Perhaps these “Thou Must Now” messages provide peace to the senders and if that is the case, I wish them all the peace that can fill their hearts. However, I am very much imperfectly human and do not believe peace and good tidings will come my way by forwarding a very demanding and dire message to 10 friends within 10 minutes. On my behalf, even Will Ferrell shares my sentiments:

will-f

To my friends who believe otherwise: Send me your “Thou Must Now” message if it helps you sleep better at night. I may or may not respond with an emoji equivalent of “Bless Your Heart”. If ever in doubt, though, Grumpy Cat always has the solution:

grumpy-cat

 

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