Me or Your Lying Eyes: A Week in Review

Me or Your Lying Eyes
Year 1: Week 16
2 of 5 stars

By this time, every head scratching American has been inundated with the latest bizarre installment of the nationally televised shit show “You gonna believe me or your lying eyes,” brought to you by popular vote loser and petulant man-child Donald Trump.  This week’s episode stars the now-former director of the F.B.I. James Comey, features cast new member Rod J. Rosenstein, and of course comic relief Sean Spicer, who was hiding in the bushes for most of the show.

This week the gang tries to keep the narrative together after Trump starts off the episode by firing James Comey, the man in charge of investigating the alleged treasonous relationship Trump was having with long time friend and investor Vladimir Putin.  Unfortunately, Trump forgets to let his press shop in on his latest Fox and Friends-induced tirade and Team White House is sent bumbling from one unbelievable reason to another as to just why Trump fired Comey only hours after Comey asked the DOJ for additional funding to pursue the Trump/Russia investigation.

Particularly damning congressional testimony starts off the show from the previously-fired Sally Yates (Episode Year 1: Week 2).  The next morning, after a series of angry, screen mashing tweets, Trump releases a dubiously worded, self-aggrandizing letter firing Mr. Comey— which, ironically, Comey doesn’t actually get, but is notified nonetheless by the cable news televisions mounted behind him as he speaks to a group of F.B.I agents.  Later that day, Team White House launches the side-slapping rationale that Trump fired Comey because Comey was “unfair to Hillary.”  After a bout of eye-rolls from distinguished journalists, the Team shifts the explanation of motive to Rod Rosenstein, the newly-minted Attorney General who supposedly wrote a letter to Trump recommending the immediate— and completely coincidental— firing.

Things get more crazy on day four though when Trump himself gives an interview with the good folks of NBC News, where he bangs his chest and declares that “no way, it was totally his idea to fire Comey!” and that “he had dinner with Mr. Comey” and Comey totes wasn’t investigating the “obvious hoax” of an investigation that has so far pinned Trump’s National Security Advisor Micheal Flynn, advisor Carter Page, Campaign Chief Paul Manafort and comrade Sergey Kislyak to Russian meddling and acts of espionage.

Finally, Trump hosts a known Russian spy along with Watergate-famous Henry Kissinger in the Oval Office in middle of the episode for reasons that cannot yet be described.  It seems that the truth may come naturally, but the lies and narrative will continue to twist into next week’s episode, “No Shoes Left to Drop.”