Narcissist: How to spot one

How to tell if you are married to a Narcissists

Here are some red flags that will tell you if your spouse has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This can affect both men and woman and some sure tell signs are Gaslighting, which is when the Narcissist tries to change your memories of the past, especially if the past paints them in a bad light. They will try to make you think that anything you remember is wrong. I have been there, and am still there with my ex who still tries to make me think that how I believe he was in the past was wrong, but I know better now. I know my memories are correct.

Another sign is Projection, which they try making their issues your issues. Such as if they lie or cheat they will accuse you of it to make themselves feel better. They think if they blame you for these acts that they did then it will be your fault and not theirs. I was accused of cheating many times only to find out he was the one cheating. Just like a Narcissist will twist everything around if confronted. They take no responsibility for their actions and nothing is ever their faults.

They are also very skilled in Manipulation such as making their spouses fear being rejected or alienated. They can make you agree to stuff that you would normally object to. If you find yourself in this position, try hard to stand your ground. It’s never easy but you can’t let them get into your head. One of the worse things a Narcissist does is playing victim. They play the oh woe is me, everyone hates me crap that does nothing but get sympathy from people which is what they crave. They want all the attention no matter if its positive or negative they want it. They have a need for it.

I spent ten years in a relationship with a Narcissistic sociopath and it took me a long time to realize that everything wasn’t my fault. I still struggle with this and tend to take blame for stuff I didn’t do. That type of mental and emotional abuse is hard to overcome. My advice to anyone in this type of relationship is to get out if possible. The longer you stay the harder it is. I fought it for many years, every time I tried to leave I was guilted into staying. After a while I finally had enough and got out. It’s been almost three years and I still struggle, I still must deal with him, but I now know his mind games and I can avoid them for my own wellbeing and I don’t allow him to rule my mind anymore. It’s not easy, it takes a lot to break free from this type of abuse but it’s possible and it is worth it. Being away from that will lift a burden you didn’t know was holding you down.

Never give up…