Life Is Not A Fairytale: We Choose Love

Does happily ever after truly exist? As a kid, most girls love the whole fairytale stories of prince charming and the story of love. I was once one of those little girls. I dreamed of meeting my prince charming and having the fairytale life. As I got older I started to realize that life wasn’t so easy. When I got married the first time it wasn’t perfect but I tried to make it better and be happy even through the hard times. That didn’t work too well. I ended up getting divorced and being a single mother of 3 small children. At the time they were ages 6, 4, and 3, so it was rather tough as only 1 of them was in school and I worked full time.

I did the best I could and when I was reconnected with an old flame I was so excited. I thought the fates had brought us back together after so many years and life seemed perfect again. However, that was not the case. Once again, my fairytale picture had been tainted only this time it was worse than the first time. I’m pretty sure there is no happily ever after that involves abuse so here I am again a single mother of 3 kids. Only now they are ages 10, 8, and 6.

I learn the hard way that not everything is as it seems. We have a gut instinct for a reason and we should always listen to it. I am so glad I did even though I wish I had done it sooner than I did but we live and learn. I still sit and dream of the fairytale life but I know now that it’s not real. We can be happy if we want to be but nothing will ever be perfect as it is in those stories. Love is a myth, love is based on actions. We choose to love, but we choose it because we are happy. No one ever chooses to love something that makes them sad. That would just be stupid.

I am not one of those bitter old hags that talk bad about marriage just because mine didn’t work out. No, I think the bond of a strong marriage is sacred but marriage is also just a piece of paper. If you don’t have the trusting bond than you don’t have a loving marriage. No matter what a piece of paper says not all marriages are happy. It’s for us to choose whether or not we want to be happy in the situation we are in. I tried for many years to be happy in my first marriage that by the time I was in my second I realized I didn’t have to put up with being treated so badly. I didn’t deserve that and I wouldn’t stand there and take it.

We don’t always need someone else to make us happy, actually, we don’t need anyone to make us happy. We can be happy by ourselves if we have self-love. Because if we can’t love ourselves why would anyone else want to love us? There are some things I miss about being married. I miss the cuddling in bed while watching tv. The family trips and vacations. Just sitting around outside and watching it rain or looking at the stars with someone else. The contempt feeling that comes with sharing a moment with someone you couldn’t imagine your life without. Sadly, I lost those feelings long before I even got divorced so really what do I miss? I don’t miss it with the two I shared it with. I miss the chance to share that special feeling with someone, maybe one day I will find someone who makes me feel the way I desire to feel, maybe not. We never know what is going to come about.

I just hope that anyone reading this will sit back and think about the situation they are in. Are they happy? Are they just trying to make someone else happy? Do they have that complete, contempt feeling? As a person whether male or female we deserve to be happy. We deserve to feel like our life is amazing even with the ups and downs life can be fulfilling. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

 

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    Sandy 2 weeks

    I hope this will open up some eyes. And hearts..love you

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