The Secret: A Very Personal, Yet Universal, Reflection

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  I decided that today would be the perfect day to share a very personal series of events in my life with anyone who will take the time to read it. If you are willing to get to know me for a few short moments and keep a very open-mind about your own relationship with the inner workings of the universe around you, then you may well find that my story has the potential to change your life forever. I sincerely hope that at least one person reads my words and finds the inner strength to pull themselves out of the matrix of a reality created by the world around them to discover the joy of a world crafted with personal intention and a colossal dose of magical, universal power.

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The most significant moment of my life was sparked by a movie that effected every aspect of my existence. It all began in 2010 when my best friend Sara came to my house with a movie in hand. She was so excited to share it with me that I had no choice but to take the time to watch it with her, even though I had so many things I needed to get done around the house. I sat reluctantly on the couch as she slid the DVD out of its box and into the player, slightly annoyed that she was so adamant that I just had to watch this movie. Once The Secret began, I was completely drawn to the ideas that it was presenting. Was it really possible that a person could attract all of their greatest hopes and dreams in life through harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction? I sure didn’t think so, but I kept watching anyway.

Money, Magnet, Success, Wealth, Profit, Income
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As the movie progressed it presented the theory that every facet of our lives is affected by the thoughts and feelings that we put out into the universe. In essence, it provided that if we think negative thoughts and have negative feelings, then we attracted negative things in our lives. It also touted that if we think positive thoughts and project positive feelings into the universe, that we will attract positive results in our lives. This was an interesting theory to me. I was captivated by the first-hand accounts of this process working in the lives of people from all races, religions, and economic backgrounds, so I decided to test this incredible theory in my own life.

Chemist, Laboratory, Periodic System, Chemistry
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 From that day forward I made it a point to put out as much positive energy, positive thoughts, and positive feelings out into the universe as humanly possible. I followed the process very carefully, which was to be intentionally grateful for all the wonderful things I already had in my life, to specifically ask for the things I wished to attract in my life, to believe wholeheartedly that I had already received what I was asking for ,and  then just wait for the universe to provide it.

Sky, Freedom, Happiness, Relieved, Prayer, Open Arms
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I started out small by asking for an example from the movie, checks in the mail. Every day as I walked to the mailbox, I envisioned checks in the mail. I never let myself get disappointed when I did not find them because I had convinced myself that they were on their way. About a week later, I went through the practiced routine and was thrilled to find a sixty-eight-dollar check in the mail. Granted it was money that was owed to me for an old insurance policy that I had overpaid, it was still a check in the mail. I kept at this for months, eventually receiving 5 checks in the mail that I had no idea I was going to receive. Upon such great success I decided to try to attract something else. This time I wanted to focus on a dream that I had wanted since I was a young child, to receive a full tuition scholarship to college.

Money, Finance, Financial, Cheque, Check
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  I went about putting positive thoughts and feelings of gratitude into the universe, never knowing how or when I could make this happen. Because the movie had said to live life as if I had already received what I had asked for, I enrolled to online classes at Ashford University out of San Diego. I began my classes and was so busy with schoolwork, my full-time job, and my family that I completely forgot to focus directly on the dream of a scholarship. That’s when the strangest thing happened, I was reading through my junk emails one balmy summer afternoon when I came across one that offered the chance to win a full tuition scholarship to college. After reading the first couple of paragraphs in the email I was disheartened; the details clearly stated that only a handful of schools were offering the chance to win a scholarship, and I just knew that Ashford would not be on the list. To my surprise, when I was redirected to the website for more of the contest details, Ashford University was the first name on the list of participating colleges.

Laptop, Woman, Education, Study, Young, Computer
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The contest, Project Working Mom, required entrants to submit a 1000 word essay on why attending college would make them better parents, so I feverishly wrote the essay recalling my troubled childhood, significant losses and heartbreak, and my hopes to give my children all of the things I never had. The essay was the first time I had really dealt with my feelings of insecurity, my fear of abandonment, and my hopes to protect my own children from the tremendous heartbreak I had suffered in my own life. It was, in itself, the most incredible kind of therapy, and as I submitted it for review, I knew I was going to receive that scholarship.

Female, Diary, Journal, Write, Beautiful, Inspire
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 Then began the wait; it was nearly a month before the winners of the scholarships were to be revealed. I floated through my day to day tasks for that whole month. I had no doubt that I had won, so when the day came that the scholarship was to be awarded, I waited for my phone to ring and checked my email at least twenty times, but there was nothing. Another week crept by, but still nothing. At that point I really started to get anxious that I had not won the contest, but when another week passed with no word I began to fall into a deep depression. I did not understand how this could have happened. Had I not focused hard enough on my dream, or had I simply not been grateful enough for all the wonderful things I already had? I felt broken; I even found myself angry at the Universe for not giving me my life’s dream. As another week passed, I accepted that it just must not have been my time.  I regained my composure and began to feel slightly better about the whole situation. In fact, I started enjoying my everyday tasks again and submerged myself into schoolwork to forget the disappointment.

Time, Time Management, Stopwatch, Business, Planning
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Finally, on a Wednesday night, almost a month after the contest deadline, I decided to drive out to the end of my street to use an internet connection from one of my neighbor’s open wi-fi access point. I was surprised to see that I had received a voice-mail alert in my inbox showing a message on my cell phone from someone in California. I was curious about it because I did not know anyone in California. I turned down the radio, which was ironically blasting Bob Marley’s hit, Three Little Birds, and  I clicked  the alert to hear cheerful voice on the other end say, “Hello Tosha, this is Christine with Project Working Mom and I have some great news to share with you.” At that moment I knew that my childhood dream had really come to fruition.

Surprised, Blue Eyes, Freckles, See, Watch, Eyes, Scare
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As I walked back into my house, I was trembling visibly, with tears streaming down my cheeks. My fiancé, Louie, looked at me with an expression of pure terror. He later revealed that he had thought I might have been attacked or mugged while I was gone. I remember him asking frantically what happened to me. I could barely speak, the only response I could muster for what seemed like an eternity was, “Oh my God.” I just kept repeating it over and over. Finally, I was able to mutter, ‘Louie, I won the scholarship.’ In an instant his expression changed from immense worry to pure joy. We hugged each other and jumped up and down together in the middle of our living room. That was the day my life changed forever. I knew at that moment that I could have and do anything I set my mind to and nothing in the world could ever stop me from achieving my dreams.

Freedom, Silhouette, Woman, Backlighting, Sky, Nature
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Since manifesting the scholarship, I have attracted an amazing job, with an amazing company, making more money hourly than I ever have in my life.  I also attracted a couple of things that came to be in a way that I never could have imagined. Getting through college and working full time was a struggle, but in August of last year, I graduated with my B.A. In Journalism and Mass Communications. Let me just say that in the 6 years that it took me to finish my degree while still supporting my family, my house had become a complete pig sty because I had zero time to focus on cleaning.

Chaos, Clutter, A Mess, Things, Stuff, Table
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Every single day, I would gaze across the highway from my house at the Marriott Residence Inn and fantasize about how amazing it would be to stay there, away from my messy house for just a little while. Then at least 50 times a day I found myself wishing someone would come clean the house up for me, just one time, so I could maintain it. I knew there was just no chance I could muster the strength it would take to get it done all on my own with my mom being sick and me working long hours in the office.

Girl, Outdooors, Posing, Laying In Grass, Dream
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Then one night I was napping on the couch when my 13-year-old son jarred me awake screaming “Fire, get up, the kitchen is on fire!” at the top of his lungs. There was smoke billowing through our duplex and a fire was blazing on a shared wall in the kitchen above the stove. I do not remember a lot from that night, aside from worrying that the firemen and police officers were likely judging me because of the state of chaos my house was in. My husband was able to get the fire contained before the firefighters arrived, but there was still so much fire and smoke damage. Luckily, we were able to get the fire out before it affected the neighbors.

Fire, Wood Fire, Flame, Burn, Brand, Embers, Glow, Heat
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The weeks following the fire were quite a blur, as my mom continued to get sicker and we waited on our insurance company to find us adequate housing to fix the damage. But by the end of it all my family spent 8 weeks in a beautiful two-bedroom, two-bath suite at the Marriott Residence Inn I had been dreaming about, while Servepro packed up our entire house, took it to their facilities and cleaned it all up. Our rental company came in and redid all of the carpet, installed beautiful brand-new cabinets, and painted the whole duplex. It was everything I had been asking for and more.

Hotel Room, Bed, Pillows, Room, Hotel, Bedroom, Lamp
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At the time I did not even realize the blessing I had been given because I was working so much and losing my mom in the midst of it all. I was broken, but so blessed to have a temporary home at the Marriott, with a balanced breakfast every morning, dinner 3 days a week, and their kind, caring staff to help me get through it. They were wonderful to my whole family; the breakfast cook even gave me a gorgeous plant and a sympathy card after mom died.

Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Depressed, Pain, Unhappy
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I have since come up for air from the misery and chaos I was drowning in to discover that I truly am the master of my own reality in a great many ways, though the universe definitely works behind the scenes with a sense of omnipotence, because had these things happened in my own time, I would not have gotten the greatest benefits from them. All that being said, I will definitely let you guys know when I win the lottery, because it is coming.

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  • comment-avatar
    Mel 1 year

    What a beautiful, uplifting experience! Reading your story reminded me how much my own gratitude and Personal attitude affects the circumstances around me, and those working for my ultimate benefit. I need an Attitude Adjustment. Namaste, Friend. And, KEEP ON WRITING! ?❤

  • comment-avatar
    Tosha L JONES 1 year

    Thank you so much, Mel. I am truly blessed beyond all reason. Life is quite a journey and it certainly helps to have some insight to the inner workings of the universe along the way. I will NEVER stop writing. It is one of my greatest passions!

  • comment-avatar

    Thank you so much, Mel. I am truly blessed beyond all reason.

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